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*Disclaimer* this won’t find your instant ‘aesthetic’ nor will it be a guide to the latest trends, more so, navigating how you want to feel as you mirror your primary love language to your own personal style!

Love never felt so good!

We are familiar with the five love languages… YES? We all trying to understand if we love compliments, cuddles, spending time or being showered with gifts and so much more. Personal style has become the equivalent of soul searching. By expressing our self-love, through the way we wear our clothes enhances our self-esteem and shows you are that girl!

So Pick me, Style me, Love me

The iconic Meredith Grey quote: “So Pick me. Choose me. Love me“, can be used in this concept of ‘picking your style’, but add a little spin to it. We all want to belong and feel good so that’s what we want to see in the clothes we wear.Let’s make it into a game where you pick an item of clothing and align it according to your love language – this can be a step forward to finding your personal style! Below we will dissect each love language accordingly:

Acts of service

This focuses on the ‘lickle’ changes made such as accessorising. Literally, use services to your advantage to find you a tailor or personal shopper to help build your wardrobe. We subconsciously put pressure on ourselves to present an exaggerated version, leaving us drained from our bank accounts and wasting unworn clothes.

There have been studies on the correlation between our emotional state and how an outfit can impact our self-esteem (bad outfit = bad mood). By bringing it back to the basics, swap clothes with your besties (saving coins). This can deviate from the added stress of always trying to look ‘stylish’.

Style cannot be found but made with intention. Another study showed that in today’s climate of clothing, swapping is not only sustainable but a way of forming a community with others.

Quality Time

Longevity is an important factor to avoid over-consumption. By using the 4321 method you really value your time and money spent. If you see that item of clothing lasting in ‘four years’ time, that’s quality time spent. Yep, I’m talking to you, yes you… I bet you have ten coats saved in your wishing list waiting to pick the right coat for this season?

One study showed the average UK buyer owns around 118 items of clothing, so, do you see yourself wearing that item in the next year? If your answer is a no, please remove it from your basket effective immediately. This is perfect to understanding taking quality time to find what feels the most authentic to you.

Also, if you do choose a more spendy option can you see yourself passing it down to your children that’s girl maths, right? Have fun, don’t rush with dress up! Circularity is your best friend it’s a gradual adjustment to developing more sustainable practices.


This can mirror a desired perception of yourself, similar to Enclothed cognition you will associate a type of clothing with certain attributes in this case positive ones.Unfortunately, those racing thoughts of doubt when experimenting a new style can be draining.

Research shows that clothing style can influence self-perception, cognition and behaviour. Basically, words matter! As a certified hype-woman it’s not just about giving compliments but also positive encouragement!

By applying word of affirmations to become a more conscious buyer, you have to be that cheerleader for yourself too! I’m here to make your bank account happy and send more time developing the style you have been craving from your Pinterest board!


Don’t we love being spoiled with gifts from your loved ones and that includes you treating yourself too! Personal style is also something we all cherish. Hand-me-downs carry sentimental value that money can’t buy which allows the creative freedom when styling. There are some temptations when you want to feel good this is embodied through ‘retail therapy’, a way to heal yourself (short-term).

The best kind of galantine’s gift are the most well thought out, so, reflect and think to be more rationale when purchasing for your bestie. However, building a wardrobe comprises of getting rid of unloved clothes to give to others who can love it as much as you did. So, purchasing pre-loved clothing allows a more conscious way of finding personal style (long-term).

Physical Touch

This one is touchy subject… as we delve deeper to understanding our relationship with our body image and clothes. One study shares that clothes can conceal areas of our body that we least prefer. A lot of these high street brands have misleading measurements from shop to shop.

The question is who are really these clothes made for? This is definitely created anxiety around physically shopping for clothes. The best way to apply physical touch language is going to the store you love and try to feel the quality and texture of the garment that satisfy your needs.

There has been correlation between body image and impulsive purchasing that is because finding that said ‘perfect jeans’ (doesn’t exist) is advertised in way you will think you will look like that model.

However, it is so liberating finding that sense of acceptance with your body which will reflect in the confidence in your style. Shape of the clothes is just as important as the ‘aesthetics’ side of it.

*Well which love language are you and which one will you adopt?… also, FYI change doesn’t come over night and same goes with finding your personal style!*

Khadijah Omer

Author Khadijah Omer

Khadijah Omer is a Fashion Marketing undergraduate student at London College of Fashion, she’s fanatic about multicultural perspectives and brings that to her work. She loves everything ‘creative’ from my fashion styling to branding across all art mediums.

More posts by Khadijah Omer
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